The Girl is Neurotic

Dervish is intense, I got it, I live with it, I accept it (for the most part) however, I've never thought to describe him as neurotic. The Girl is neurotic.

It started with the blasted washing machine. It's a great machine for the most part but it's easily off balance (kind of like it's owner?) and when it goes off balance it thumps and bumps and jumps making a terrible racket until someone lifts the lid and redistributes the contents.

Well, on top of all that washer racket we all learned to endure The Girl going ballistic.

Before she could walk, the girl would just shriek this horrible otherworldly sound until someone successfully ended the insanity of the rocking washing machine.

I tried everything I could think of and a few things I didn't think of to show her that it was a harmless sound but to no avail. We sat on the machine, I laughed at the crazy machine, I put things on top of the machine so we could watch them bounce, I held her and sang to her while the machine rocked... nada. nothing. she was convinced that it was EVIL and had to be terminated and to this day (she's a few months shy of 4) the rocking bouncing vibrating machine sends her into a frenzy.

Now that she's mobile, the reaction has taken on a life of it's own. In someone elses shoes it might be amusing to watch but I lost my ability to laugh at this about 400 screaming sessions ago! When the rocking starts she gets a shocked stricken deer in the headlight look on her face and makes a small cry. We no longer race to solve the problem (that also got real tired real fast) so inevitably the reaction intensifies, first there is the shriek, then there is the tears, then there is the flapping arms, then there is the racing around in circles and finally the frantic dance at the laundry room door accompanied by the 'song' (the song is the highest pitched note known to man).

It's exhausting.

Don't get me wrong. Lots of times the machine doesn't dance. Many times someone gets to it before the flapping arms get a chance to take The Girl into flight and it's rare any more that we get to hear 'the song' but it seems silly to go out and get a new washing machine to stop the madness.

Besides, what would we do about thunder?

Does anyone know how to stop rain from coming?

These are her new obsessions.

Thunder (oh, and planes flying over head) evoke the same response as the washing machine. Rain on the other hand means that EVERYTHING that is outside must come in... NOW (if not sooner). That's not such a bad thing is it? After all, she's a great help when you have a bunch of stuff to bring in before it rains.... if we could just do it without the flapping arms!!

The problem is, The Girl is not such a great weather forcaster, on many a sunny beautiful day the war cries start and the flapping happens for no apparent reason - at least none that any one can figure out. The debate starts...

"gonna rain mom - go IN"

"no, it's beautiful and sunny, it's not going to rain"

"Yes mommy GO IN!"

"even IF it was going to rain, it doesn't hurt, it's just water - just like the pool"

"MOMMY GET INNNNNNN!!!!" (as she goes about stealing my cup of coffee and newspaper to bring in the house)

There is no reasoning with her, there is no consoling her, there is no stopping her. INTENSE + NEUROTIC = THE GIRL.

I don't even want to get started on what happens on cloudy days!

Intense children