Sibling Mayhem

I suppose some of it can be chalked up to Dervish being the middle child. Perhaps that wasn't such a great idea? (not that it could matter less now).

I had myself quite convinced that having a younger sibbling or becoming a big brother would be a GOOD thing for Dervish, that he would find himself in the responsiblity, that it would take the harshness off the intensity but not so much.

I know siblings fight. I've read Siblings without Rivalry and while it was an immensely helpful book I'm still left with what amounts to hangnails of parenthood when my kids fight. Why though is Dervish always right in the middle of it???

He pokes The Girl constantly and no amount of conversation, reasoning, bribary, begging, pleading or ignoring has made a dent in that relationship clash. And now, of course, she pokes back. (she's learned from the master!)

The Pie Guy is so frustrated he goes out of his way to avoid little Dervish.

The other day they were in my room playing some sort of card game and Dervish was wailing that Pie wasn't being fair. Silly me, I asked "why?" (shoulda kept on walking). As it turns out, Pie plays to win (novel concept isn't it? and HOW DARE HE???)

So, as I've done many times before, I suggested that this would be the point.

BUT HE ALLLLWWAAAYS wins!!!! was the reply.

Do you have fun playing? I ask.... NOOOOOOOO! echos in my eardrums. sigh. Well, don't play then, the idea of playing is to have fun. The more you play, the better you'll get and you might just win but in the mean time, just have fun playing I suggest.

I walk away to more wails and more complaints.

The Revenge...

Dervish has been perfecting revenge since he was 10 months old. He's good at it. Most of the time.

To get back at Pie for winning and "not being fair" I suppose, Dervish flies out to the deck to tell me that he tried to help out the Pie by opening the door for him and ...... Pie PUSHED HIM! (how dare he)

Well, sounded unlikely but who knows, perhaps Pie "the cool" finally had been pushed over the limit so I called a meeting.

The story must have shrunk in the wash though because, as what was supported by witnesses, what really happened was that one of Pie's friends came to the door, Dervish, in an attempt to prevent his brother from abondoning him threw himself up against the door to block the visitor. Pie picked him up and moved him from the door so he could open it.

That apparently translates to "I tried to help him by opening the door for him and ...... he PUSHED ME!"

sigh.

Time to re-read siblings without rivalry!

In the mean time I read what I think was probably a great piece of advice -

New rule "I will not listen to any sentance that starts with "well he....." (or she)" and I will adopt and use the sentance "Work it out".

Intense Children-great books