I believe in destiny and I believe in fate. I also believe that we have a say in it... perhaps that is a contradiction?
I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe we are presented with opportunities and our choices create new paths for us.
For instance, The Dad and I chose to pursue fertility treatments while simultaneously pursuing adoption. In our minds, it was the family we wanted, the getting there was not the issue.
I would have loved to experience pregnancy and, to this day, I own a small place inside that hurts when I contemplate the reality that I will never know what it's like to feel a life inside me or know what it's like to give birth. But most times the pangs are fleeting. After all, I wasn't trying to get pregnant so I'd know what it felt like, we wanted a family and we got our family.
I believe the months and years of buying ovulation kits and then pregnancy tests and being disappointed over and over again are things that we needed to endure. I'm not sure why. I know that the infertility experience changed me, it changed The Dad, but I will never know in what way - but I do believe there was a reason for it.
I believe that we were destined to have the children that we have.
The Dervish and The Girl were pure serendipity. We were on different paths when each of them came along and they suddenly happened out of the blue (on separate occasions to boot!)
We were in the process of applying to adopt 2 little girls when we suddenly got a call that a baby boy was available and did we want to be put on the list the birth family would look at. What's meant to happen will happen, but only if you are open to allowing it to happen.
Yes, of course we wanted to be on that list. Two days later we got the news that we had been chosen to adopt him.
Three years later, and having had decided that our 2 boys were enough (honestly, it was Dervish's intensity that had us convinced that we were good with 2 kids) we got a phone call out of the blue that Dervish had a sister and did we want her. How can that not be 'fate' or 'destiny'?
So, while I never did get pregnant, I don't regret the journey, I don't regret trying and, even if we had been successful once, we probably would have adopted after that to complete our family, but that wasn't what destiny had in mind for us.
Destiny, it seems, had another plan. We were meant to have a Pie, A Dervish, and a Girl. Intensity and all.
Comments
Thu, 29.04.2010 08:12
THANK YOU! My son is 5 and has been a pretty emotional child. My father-in-law passed away about a year and half ago and [...]
Thu, 11.03.2010 14:08
EVERYONE PLEASE LISTEN. Now that I have your attention. My 2nd grader is currently being bullied by his teacher. [...]
Wed, 17.02.2010 09:05
I know you posted this forever ago, but if you're still out there I would love to here how things turned out, if the [...]
Wed, 10.02.2010 18:47
if teachers were paid an appropriate salary for the level of education and effort required, you could get rid of these [...]
Wed, 16.12.2009 07:53
I have a 7 yr old step daughter that comes from a mother who has alot a mental health issues, tho my daughter seems to [...]
Tue, 27.10.2009 10:48
Child Behavior Modification is so tough. There are moments that yelling at them is not enough. Tantrums in toddlers [...]
Thu, 17.09.2009 16:26
I appreciate your sharing of this situation and applaud your directness with the principle that your goal is to remove [...]
Sat, 29.08.2009 17:03
Hi there, I am totally with you with the no spanking. I was telling my mum the other day about my 2.4yr old son hitting [...]
Mon, 06.04.2009 20:06
My seven year old son cries alot. I can completly relate with the parent. It is something you worry about when [...]
Tue, 24.02.2009 16:31
This is great stuff! My husband and I were wondering what was happenig to our son who just turned 7. He was very tough [...]
Sat, 03.01.2009 23:49
Thanks for the article, It was important to hear the part about not bottling up emotions otherwise later in life, that [...]
Wed, 24.12.2008 00:11
my two year old daughter cries all the time and i don't know what is wrong.she gets up at night and scamming and then [...]
Wed, 12.11.2008 21:10
I did this one time, my kids had slept over at a friend's house and were up 'til all hours and super crabby the next [...]
Sat, 04.10.2008 18:55
We are in a similar situation. I am curious what the outcome was?
Fri, 11.07.2008 11:54
Parenting Advice: Find Parenting Resources on Websites All parents want to be the best parent we can be for our [...]