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Wednesday, December 20. 2006The Teacher is a BullyMy Son's Teacher is a Bully!This will be a series of entries because my journey has just begun in dealing with a teacher that is a bully. It started early this year when the Pie's geography teacher made an inappropriate comment to my son about his "girlfriend" (a male friend in his class) in front of the class. He was apparently attempting to discourage the two boys from talking in line. I get that talking in line is a no no and it's disruptive and against the teacher's rules but to a 12 year old boy, the insinuation that he is gay in front of his classmates is humiliating and inappropriate. I didn't approach the teacher on this one. The Pie did it himself. He did it respectfully in that he spoke to the teacher in private and told him that he didn't like what he said. The teacher apologized. I was super impressed with my son... he had a voice and he used it and I was sure that there would be no more of this from the teacher. Wrong. I've since learned that this teacher tells his class that they are "retards", that they are the worst class he's ever taught, that they will never amount to anything. He says these things on a regular basis. I spoke to the principal. I told him what was going on in the class and he promised to talk to the teacher about his inappropriate behavior. A few weeks later I learned that this teacher had labeled a child in the class a bully because he giggled when one of his friends dropped her pencil. Shortly after that incident, the Pie got to wear the bully label for a similar faux pas. A little extreme? A lot extreme. These are 12 year olds, they engage in friendly teasing and joking. I visited the principal again. This time I requested that the Pie be removed from the class in question. The principal agreed to allow Pie to do his geography in the library. This solved the immediate problem but what of the rest of the class? What about the other students being subject to daily doses of humiliation, self esteem shattering, degrading comments. When I looked into this further I learned that this teacher had been suspended last year for assaulting a student. Yet he is still employed at the school. How can this be? How is it that the school board can allow a teacher that would assault a grade school child to continue teaching. (I am not saying that the teacher was not provoked - I don't know the details but the fact remains that he is the adult and the responsibility is his to act like one) So, my son will take geography alone in the library - for now. This morning I received an email from the principal regarding the request to move Pie out of the class as follows (names removed) Hi xxxx Comments
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#1 - Anonymous 2007-07-16 09:56 - (Reply) Thank you for posting this detailed and well-written letter. I am a parent of a high-school student. Both of us have been victimized by a teacher who is a bully. So I am extremely interested in learning how your situation has changed over the past few months. Can you offer any further advice for other people in similar situations? #1.1 - Anonymous 2009-09-17 16:26 - (Reply) I appreciate your sharing of this situation and applaud your directness with the principle that your goal is to remove this "teacher" from his position and not just protect your child. My son had a 4th grade teacher who was frankly threatened by my son's intellegence and any time my son would question something (he always did so by raising his hand or asking privately as to respect his teacher) he was told he was arguing and the teacher went as far as to mark him down on what he said was a gramatical error on a paper and my son was right. Then, when I went to the school to discuss it with his teacher told the class the next week when there was a question about whether or not something was accurate "Maybe we should ask ******* and he can go home and talk to his mommy about it." My son begged me not to go to the school and I was so angry at this blatent humiliation in front of his class but my son knew it would just make this teacher bully him more. He got through 4th grade with little more humiliation simply because he kept his mouth shut and never asked questions any more...sad! This year he's in 6th grade and the teacher he had for 4th grade is teaching his science class and the teacher is already starting in with little jabs about some of the students based on their behavior or personalities from 4th grade...of course in front of the class. Wow, does someone need some attention? #2 - sixlamps 2008-04-24 21:23 - (Reply) Hi, Thank you for posting this letter. I am the parent of a high-school boy and one of his teachers not only is bullying him but also bully me by sending awful derogatroy remarks in many emails. I am going to speak to the principal tomorrow and can only pray he will truely listen and take my concerns seriously. #3 - paula 2008-06-02 17:43 - (Reply) Altough this was last posted back in 2006 i am interested to know the outcome and how you got to the bottom of this terrible situation,this kind of behaviur from so so called professional person can be quite damaging to a child .we all know these teachers stick togeter even though they know they are in the wrong.my child is 10 and is now going through the same thing your son was.any tips you can give me will be so good take care and good luck to you and your son x #4 - Daron Klugesherz 2008-10-04 18:55 - (Reply) We are in a similar situation. I am curious what the outcome was? #5 - mara 2010-02-10 18:47 - (Reply) if teachers were paid an appropriate salary for the level of education and effort required, you could get rid of these awful teachers. good people would want the jobs. but now, educators come from the bottom 25% of college graduates and with that comes people that could never be in charge any where else. and we give our children to them .... #6 - No tolerance mom 2010-03-11 14:08 - (Reply) EVERYONE PLEASE LISTEN. Now that I have your attention. My 2nd grader is currently being bullied by his teacher. After months of hints & notions that something was wrong and trying to address the teacher's issues toward my son. I gave up & spent a couple of weeks speaking with the guidance counselor, no luck their either. So I set up a meeting with the principal, asst principal & guidance counselor. I new this would not be taken with a smile so I prepared for the worse, did research prepared packets for later reading with highlighted points (by the way I went to this meeting alone, NEVER do this, ALWAYS bring a witness). Well in the meeting they basically all told me to go to hell. You know what I did, I screamed & cried to a friend for an hour, then cried to my mom for 3 hours, then I called the board of education & stated that my concerns were not being addressed. She stated that she would call me back after a little investigation. Well I haven't spoken with her yet, but lo & behold the very next morning I received a conference call from the principal, asst principal, & guidance counselor (with a very calm tone which was completely the opposite if the previous day) & told me that she was instructed to let me know that the situation will be looked into, the classroom will be monitored & if I have any concerns I am urged to contact herself or the asst principal to address them. Yay VICTORY! Now I need to contact to BOE & thank the caring sole who took the time to help my son & also get with them on changing a couple procedures on preventative measures on teacher bullyiing, as well as some additional measures for reporting this type of thing. Wish me luck & GOOD LUCK to all of you. Lesson learned "Everyone has a boss, if no resolve go higher up." |
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Comments
Thu, 29.04.2010 08:12
THANK YOU! My son is 5 and has been a pretty emotional child. My father-in-law passed away about a year and half ago and [...]
Thu, 11.03.2010 14:08
EVERYONE PLEASE LISTEN. Now that I have your attention. My 2nd grader is currently being bullied by his teacher. [...]
Wed, 17.02.2010 09:05
I know you posted this forever ago, but if you're still out there I would love to here how things turned out, if the [...]
Wed, 10.02.2010 18:47
if teachers were paid an appropriate salary for the level of education and effort required, you could get rid of these [...]
Wed, 16.12.2009 07:53
I have a 7 yr old step daughter that comes from a mother who has alot a mental health issues, tho my daughter seems to [...]
Tue, 27.10.2009 10:48
Child Behavior Modification is so tough. There are moments that yelling at them is not enough. Tantrums in toddlers [...]
Thu, 17.09.2009 16:26
I appreciate your sharing of this situation and applaud your directness with the principle that your goal is to remove [...]
Sat, 29.08.2009 17:03
Hi there, I am totally with you with the no spanking. I was telling my mum the other day about my 2.4yr old son hitting [...]
Mon, 06.04.2009 20:06
My seven year old son cries alot. I can completly relate with the parent. It is something you worry about when [...]
Tue, 24.02.2009 16:31
This is great stuff! My husband and I were wondering what was happenig to our son who just turned 7. He was very tough [...]
Sat, 03.01.2009 23:49
Thanks for the article, It was important to hear the part about not bottling up emotions otherwise later in life, that [...]
Wed, 24.12.2008 00:11
my two year old daughter cries all the time and i don't know what is wrong.she gets up at night and scamming and then [...]
Wed, 12.11.2008 21:10
I did this one time, my kids had slept over at a friend's house and were up 'til all hours and super crabby the next [...]
Sat, 04.10.2008 18:55
We are in a similar situation. I am curious what the outcome was?
Fri, 11.07.2008 11:54
Parenting Advice: Find Parenting Resources on Websites All parents want to be the best parent we can be for our [...]