My Son's Teacher is a Bully!
This will be a series of entries because my journey has just begun in dealing with a teacher that is a bully.
It started early this year when the Pie's geography teacher made an inappropriate comment to my son about his "girlfriend" (a male friend in his class) in front of the class. He was apparently attempting to discourage the two boys from talking in line.
I get that talking in line is a no no and it's disruptive and against the teacher's rules but to a 12 year old boy, the insinuation that he is gay in front of his classmates is humiliating and inappropriate.
I didn't approach the teacher on this one. The Pie did it himself. He did it respectfully in that he spoke to the teacher in private and told him that he didn't like what he said. The teacher apologized. I was super impressed with my son... he had a voice and he used it and I was sure that there would be no more of this from the teacher.
Wrong. I've since learned that this teacher tells his class that they are "retards", that they are the worst class he's ever taught, that they will never amount to anything. He says these things on a regular basis.
I spoke to the principal. I told him what was going on in the class and he promised to talk to the teacher about his inappropriate behavior.
A few weeks later I learned that this teacher had labeled a child in the class a bully because he giggled when one of his friends dropped her pencil. Shortly after that incident, the Pie got to wear the bully label for a similar faux pas. A little extreme? A lot extreme. These are 12 year olds, they engage in friendly teasing and joking.
I visited the principal again. This time I requested that the Pie be removed from the class in question. The principal agreed to allow Pie to do his geography in the library. This solved the immediate problem but what of the rest of the class? What about the other students being subject to daily doses of humiliation, self esteem shattering, degrading comments.
When I looked into this further I learned that this teacher had been suspended last year for assaulting a student. Yet he is still employed at the school. How can this be? How is it that the school board can allow a teacher that would assault a grade school child to continue teaching. (I am not saying that the teacher was not provoked - I don't know the details but the fact remains that he is the adult and the responsibility is his to act like one)
So, my son will take geography alone in the library - for now.
This morning I received an email from the principal regarding the request to move Pie out of the class as follows (names removed)
Hi xxxx
I will make arrangements for this to occur after Christmas. I do want you
to think about next year. From what I can see, there will only be one
Grade 8 class in French Immersion and Mr. xxxxxxx will be the teacher. We
will need to come up with a plan to eventually have xxxxxxx re-join his
class mates. What is your opinion on this?
This was my response....
Hi xxxx,
I have no interest in xxxxxx, or his classmates, being bullied further by this teacher.
I have spoken to several other parents and asked them to ask their kids about Mr. xxxxxx
with a suggestion that if their kids are also having issues that they should speak to you about it.
I wont go into all the things I heard from these parents because you of course,
can't take my word for it but I hope that they take my advice and come to see you about it.
Perhaps if you have a couple more parents complaining you'll actually have take a more
serious and permanent action.
As far as next year goes, if Mr. xxxxxx is still employed with the school and is the only grade
8 French teacher, regretfully, I will have to move xxxxxx to another school for his final year,
I will make that decision in the spring and perhaps move him early so that he can adjust to a new
school before the beginning of the year. As much as I hate the thought of changing his school,
I hate the thought of a bully teaching my child more.
Please understand, I am not a drama queen. xxxxxx has had issues with teachers in the past
and there have been things that teachers did that I didn't particularly agree with....
(snip - irrelevant) ..... he's had teachers he didn't like and who apparently didn't like him much
but I've never asked for him to be removed from a class. He knows there are people in the world that
he will have to deal with that he may not like very much and his challenge is to make the best of it.
But I wouldn't work for an employer who would tell me that I wont amount to anything or call
me names - I will not have my child be 'taught' by a man who uses these tactics on a group of
children under the guise of 'teaching'.
Since this is not isolated to this year's group of kids, it is a pattern. My goal at this point
is to have this teacher removed from the school - he has no business being a teacher as far as
I'm concerned and I am at a loss to understand the rationalization being used in keeping him.
I will give this some time and see if more parents come forward as I expect and see what, if any,
changes take place. I have 2 other children at xxxxxxx and it is my sincere hope that neither of
them become subject to this man's warped character.I've not had a response to the email as of yet, not that I expected one this soon....
but I have no intention of letting this drop.
Ironically, I'm on a committee with the school council who's goal is to combat bullying in the school!
Stay tuned for updates on this situation
Comments
Wed, 16.12.2009 07:53
I have a 7 yr old step daughter that comes from a mother who has alot a mental health issues, tho my daughter seems to [...]
Tue, 27.10.2009 10:48
Child Behavior Modification is so tough. There are moments that yelling at them is not enough. Tantrums in toddlers [...]
Thu, 17.09.2009 16:26
I appreciate your sharing of this situation and applaud your directness with the principle that your goal is to remove [...]
Sat, 29.08.2009 17:03
Hi there, I am totally with you with the no spanking. I was telling my mum the other day about my 2.4yr old son hitting [...]
Mon, 06.04.2009 20:06
My seven year old son cries alot. I can completly relate with the parent. It is something you worry about when [...]
Tue, 24.02.2009 16:31
This is great stuff! My husband and I were wondering what was happenig to our son who just turned 7. He was very tough [...]
Sat, 03.01.2009 23:49
Thanks for the article, It was important to hear the part about not bottling up emotions otherwise later in life, that [...]
Wed, 24.12.2008 00:11
my two year old daughter cries all the time and i don't know what is wrong.she gets up at night and scamming and then [...]
Wed, 12.11.2008 21:10
I did this one time, my kids had slept over at a friend's house and were up 'til all hours and super crabby the next [...]
Sat, 04.10.2008 18:55
We are in a similar situation. I am curious what the outcome was?
Fri, 11.07.2008 11:54
Parenting Advice: Find Parenting Resources on Websites All parents want to be the best parent we can be for our [...]
Wed, 11.06.2008 10:23
I found this site today after being called in by my 8 year old's teacher to discuss her DAILY emotional outbursts in [...]
Mon, 02.06.2008 17:43
Altough this was last posted back in 2006 i am interested to know the outcome and how you got to the bottom of this [...]
Fri, 02.05.2008 22:00
Thank you for your insight! Our 5 year old daughter is the same way. It is reassuing to know that we are not alone.
Thu, 24.04.2008 21:23
Hi, Thank you for posting this letter. I am the parent of a high-school boy and one of his teachers not only is bullying [...]