The Journey

Intense. That is the word I've been searching for in an effort to describe my Dervish.

The intensity goes beyond his emotions but I believe that is the key to understanding his feelings.

Dervish plays sports. All kinds of sports and everything he tries, he's good at - without exception.

The main sport has been soccer. During the past summer season he scored 57 goals. While I love to brag about his abilities the point is that at an average of 6 goals per game it demonstrates his intensity.

There was a game in which an opponent was making his game difficult. When he was off the field he commented about the other player by the number on his shirt. Something to the effect of he'd have to watch that kid. That's exactly what he did while he was off the field, watched how the other child played, how fast he ran, his moves.

At half time while the other kids enjoyed treats he sat in the centre of the soccer field on his ball staring at the net until the whistle blew.

The second half of the soccer game was astonishing. He went at the game with even more intensity and managed to outmanouver his opponent smoothly.

After the game his dad asked him what he had been doing out in the centre of the field at half time. He replied that he was planning how to win the game.

I can only presume that this is unusual behavior for a six year old. I have never before or since seen a child this age prepare mentally for a game in this manner but this is just a small glimpse into how my Dervish approaches life.

My Roller Coaster Kid - Parenting the Emotionally Intense Child

The Dervish is now almost 7... a lot of years since the marble incident of the marble in the store and honestly, my memory isn't good enough to recollect every incident between the day he came home and now.

The big thing with my beautiful intellegent sweet child is his rapid fire emotions. He has ALWAYS been like that. The seemingly smallest inperfection in his day can send him into a tailspin that could go on for hours and the scariest part is that he dominos into a downward spiral.

Not only is he not getting the cookie but that translates into never getting another cookie as long as he lives and that everyone around him will get cookies all the time but he never will and then he may never even get food again and on top of that.. no one likes him and he'll have to spend the rest of his life in his room.

This became such a concern to us that we took him to the doctor. At the doctor's office my Dervish asked me about his health card. I explained that it let the doctors know that he was who he was and that his visit to the doctor would be paid for. So he asked "so it's my card?" I replied that it was but knowing where this was going I quickly added that I needed to hold on to it until he was older.... then the tantrum started, he went bezerk right there in the office over not being able to carry his health card. After a few minutes of futile trying to calm him a woman came in carrying a sleeping baby. I quickly put that to use and said "shhh... baby is sleeping". He stopped instantly, like water on a fire it was out.

The doctor suggested that we send him to his room for a couple of hours and that would put an end to the tantrums. I decided that the doctor wasn't an expert on child development and made a mental note to try the pediatrician.

I believe that children need to express their emotions, that denying the feelings .. no matter what they are is denying them the ability to be themselves. more on this later.

My Roller Coaster Kid - Parenting the Emotionally Intense Child