Parenting An Intense Child - Health

Yuck! Head Lice!

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Fri, 07 Jul 2006 20:24:01 -0700

Lice. Ewwww.

I can't imagine there is a being out there that doesn't have at least the slightest of shudders when thoughts turn to lice.

As a parent, it's definitely something you hope never to hear, or see. Not only the whole lice stigma (people still believe it's from being 'dirty') but the WORK involved in getting rid of the nasty little creatures.

Unfortunately, it's a fact of life. If your kids are in contact with other kids, then there is always a chance that they will, at some point, end up with head lice.

So far so good. No phone calls from school, no itchy heads but a friend of mine wasn't so fortunate and by the time it was discovered, 3 out of 4 kids were carting the little critters around.
Days of shampooing and 'nit picking', washing every bedsheets, every item of clothing later she was finally rid of them but not before becoming frazzled and frustrated.

I read somewhere that there are people that are using the special lice shampoo as a preventative measure. Perhaps they think that by using it once a week or once a month or whatever it is they do, they will never have to deal with the days of laundry and the dreaded phone call.

Unfortunately, this doesn't appear to be the case. We are now faced with Super Lice that are resistant to the chemicals used today. Perhaps it is after years of using weaker treatments than were used 20 years ago, perhaps it is compounded by people over using the products - who knows? The point is that it's possible to get a case of head lice that wont go away!

So I guess the key is prevention and diligence. Keeping an eye out for the little critters and catching on before there is an 'infestation', promoting head checks in schools and helping out when they are available (to keep the program running), education - don't share hats etc., for the kids, oh, and I heard that using tee tree oil shampoo, or just rubbing a little in the hair will keep them away. But I'm no expert on the topic.

I found a great page on the web - how to get rid of head lice that gives all the information you need to know on how to get rid of head lice. (the main page is pretty handy too... how to get rid of stuff tells you how to get rid of almost anything and if they don't have it, you can request that they get it. (you've got to love interactive web sites!)

To Vaccinate or not to Vaccinate

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 19:24:50 -0700

As The Girl approaches Junior Kindergarten I'm facing a decision I didn't have to make with Pie and Dervish.

Should I vaccinate for chicken pox?

On the one hand, most people I know have had chicken pox and survived the same as the rest of us. Up until a few years ago when the chicken pox vaccine became available, it was considered to be one of those things you got as a child. Chicken pox, almost a right of passage!

People even have, or had (I'm sure it's still going on now) chicken pox parties. If you've never heard of a 'chicken pox party', the idea is that when a child you know from school or the neighbourhood contracts chicken pox, you arrange a nice long play date with your child who has never had it and the infected child so that essentially you are 'planning illness'.

This is all well and good, I can understand planning this if you can because it's certainly would be nice to know in advance when your child will be sick - and planning it for the summer is nice (I suppose) because then there is no lost time from school.

The downside is that there are potential complications!

According to this medical conditions information site, in the list of chicken pox symptoms, complications can be;

Complications

Bacterial infection of the cutaneous lesions are the commonest
Viral pneumonia is uncommon in adults and rare in children
Rare complications include thrombocytopenia, acute cerebellitis, meningoencephalitis and purpura fulminans
Death is rare except in the immunocompromised and neonates with congenital varicella

Ya, ok, so I should have a party to let my child get chicken pox! or... I could have her vaccinated so she doesn't get them. Decisions decisions!

The last time I asked our doctor about the vaccine he was on the fence about it. I haven't checked lately to see what his view is now but I will before I make a decision.

For now I'm weighing in on having her vaccinated.

My reasons are;

She has exema (said to be a factor increasing the chance of complications)
The dad has shingles (an after effect of getting chicken pox for some people, very painful and annoying to have) and if she never gets chicken pox she'll never get shingles
I've met the Dervish with Chicken pox - I have no desire to replay that with The Girl
Intense children are no picnic when they are sick!!

So, while I will consult the doctor, I think he'll have to have some pretty convincing arguments if I'm to decide against vaccinating The Girl. There are some things you'd love to do again as a parent, there are other things, like chicken pox, ... well... not so much.

Exercise - it's a good thing and a stress buster

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 12:08:00 -0700

Exercise is a good thing.

No kidding huh? What I mean is that getting kids involved is good for their bodies and good for their minds and the side effects are GOOD!

Exercise produces endorphins that make you feel good, it burns calories and it wears you out - that's a good thing for everyone but especially intense kids. It gives them a positive place to put all that emotional energy.

Dervish is already in Soccer but he'd like to do more and I've been exploring some good physical activities for kids that not only helps them with energy levels, intense emotions, and intense personalities, but also promote self esteem and self discipline.

The Pie is not really a sports guy but he does need exercise. We found his niche in swimming.

Swimming is a great sport for those who are not of a competitive nature. Even though Pie is not competitive, he is in a competitive swimming program. It works for him because your skills are mostly measured against yourself. There may be a winner when they compete but your score is measured against your last score as well so you always end up with a goal.

The only downside of swimming is the perpetual dry skin. It seems amazing that being in water so much can cause dry skin but it can be a real problem for swimmers and it is for Pie. (I found this information at Bathtime Suds Report - Bath & Body Reviews)

Other than that - I think it's one of the perfect sports for someone that is easy going, even tempered and who would live in the water if he could only grow gills. (He has actually asked me on more than one occasion if he could sleep on an air matress in the pool!! No Kidding!) It's also perfect for those not so inclined for more agressive sports.

As for The Dervish and The Girl - well their intense nature might just find swimming of benefit but they are not so interested in it. That's probably a good thing because the Pie does really need to have something that's his and only his since the other two do tend to excel at a lot of things and sometimes seem to leave him in the dust - sounds like another blog topic!

Ok, so I've been on a health kick

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 07:48:00 -0700

Anyone who's been reading regularly might have noticed that I've been doing a few blog entries on health.

I have been on a health kick lately and have been thinking a lot about the mental, emotional and physical health of my intense kids and my entire family. I like to read about the latest trends in health, alternative medicine, parenting, exercise and fitness and in this quickie blog entry I wanted to recommend a great health directory for anyone else out there that wants to find good health sites.

They have a great selection of children's health sites and alternative health sites as well as parenting sites (I'm listed there ) childrens health sites, and nutrition. It's definately worth a visit if you're looking for health related sites.

Healthy eating - Healthy Children

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 20:02:00 -0700

I'm on a diet. It's a good diet and for the most part I consider and refer to it as a healthy eating plan as opposed to a diet because the truth of the matter is, when I reach my goal, the only way I will keep my weight there is to continue to eat healthy.

When I'm on a diet, my whole family is on a diet because I just don't have what it takes to watch the rest of the family pig out on all that good stuff like cookies and chips and chocolate (oh yummm) while I eat carrot sticks and celery.

Nothing against carrot sticks and celery, I quite like the bunny food but I also really like cookies and chips and chocolate!

The upside of this new healthy eating plan is that the whole family is becoming more healthy. The Dad has lost almost as much weight as I have! This is entirely not fair since I'm the one doing all the trying and he's still getting to eat whatever he wants whenever he wants but just the change of what I cook at home has made a huge difference for him.

The younger kids, those intense ones don't and didn't need to loose any weight, I think the pure surging intensity running through their veins is enough to keep them slim and trim, but the pie worries me.

The Pie went from being a "stick" (The Dad used to call him 'stick man') to being a bit of a chub.

I'm hoping it's mostly a phase that 11 year old boys go through - I have seen most of his friends do a little chubby stint and then miraculously return to their former trim selves after a huge growth spurt around the time they turn 12.

The Pie has not grown more than a fraction of an inch in about 8 months and considering he's 5'6 already, he's due for a major grow any time.

In the mean time, I'm not just sitting idle waiting for him to grow into his weight.

According to this article on Overweight Children, 15% of U.S. children and teenagers are considered to be overweight. The article, which can be found at Online Diet Advice goes on to discuss the possible reasons for the weight problem in children and some suggestions for dealing with overweight children.

My biggest concern is to deal with it effectively without making Pie feel bad about himself! That is a major challenge because the last thing I want to do is make him feel bad about himself - or equally as bad, make him think that I feel badly about him.

I just want healthy kids, healthy minds, heathy spirits and healthy bodies. Hopefully in changing my attitude towards food - I will help them with heathy bodies.

Herbal Remedies - A case for using them

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:46:29 -0700

The Dad and I disagree on the use of herbal remedies. He would prefer that I not use herbal medications to treat our children and I would prefer to use natural sources when possible.

This is not to say that I don't go to the doctor, I do and I do immunize and they get traditional treatment for things that need treatment but I have no qualms about giving The Pie Cranberry suppliments to help prevent bladder infections that he has been prone to - or for that matter, giving him a pile of cranberry juice or concentrated cranberry if he starts to get an infection on the weekend when it's hard to see a doctor. Many times it has enabled us to forget the doctor all together if we get it soon enough.

I like to use melatonin to help the kids get their internal clocks set or sometimes just to help them get to sleep.

Now most information sources I've seen do not recommend giving melatonin to children as there have not been sufficient studies to verify it's safety so please don't take what I say as medical advice or direction because I am not an expert.

What I have done for myself is to read about melatonin and about the few studies that have been done with children and determined that I feel it is safe to use moderately and occasionally.

I also did some reading on herbal medicines in general and feel much more comfortable using an herbal remedy when possible and feasable than to use over the counter or prescription drugs. In an article about alternative medicine I found at this online health guide the authors, practitioners of Chinese medicine and as medical herbalists, discuss why herbal medications can work with less side effects and more efficiently than their synthetic counterparts.

When my intense children go from just being normally intense children to being abnormally difficult and challenging children, I have used New Era homeopathic remedy "Biochemic Tissue Salt 6" "Kali. Phos." which was suggested at the health food store. It is recommended for tension and insomnia brought on by stress and it seems to help when things, or children become a little too tightly wound. They feel better and I feel better - that's a good thing.

I think that anyone who is looking to use homeopathic or herbal medicines should do their own research. As I said, I'm not an expert and I have no medical background - this is just my own experience and what has worked for me. Each parent should make their own decisions.

When an intense child is sick

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 11:56:23 -0700

The Pie was so cool when he was sick. He did the 'normal' thing, he would lay on the couch, sleep... a lot... and suck up whatever attention was coming his way. That's what I do when I'm sick and that's what The Dad does when he's sick but that's NOT what the Dervish does and it's NOT what The Girl does.

What they do is whine. A lot. Sometimes they even yell. They cry - a lot. When they are sick, it's exhausting, mentally exhausting and physically exhausting.

The Dervish has been to the hospital too many times because he is so distraught when he's sick and so vocal and yells and screams and cries in pain that we've been sure his appendex was bursting and took him to emergency only to have him fall asleep once at the hospital and feeling fine the next day.

On one occasion The Dad and I were out of town and Dervish became ill with an unknown origin illness of the tummy variety. His Grandmother, who was babysitting was at her wits end with the screaming and crying and The Dad and I alternated trying to 'talk him down' on the cell phone for almost an hour while we rushed home. Luckily The Pie was there and helped us immensely by doing things like getting a heating pad for Dervish's tummy and some herbal relaxation stuff (that I think does nothing but Dervish felt vindicated in getting so ... whatever works?) Finally he fell asleep and his grandmother's hair settled back into it's normal position.

Aside from the mystery illnesses, they've had their share of the regular stuff, colds and flu, chicken pox, ear infections and fifth's disease (which is caused by the human parvo virus or B19.

That one was particularly interesting because there really wasn't much of a reaction from The Girl when she had it other than the rash - so she looked awful but felt fine (see the symptoms of human parvo virus)

So now that I've had some experience with these intense kids and their reaction to illness, I'm on a mission to keep them healthy! Eat well, excersise, lots of sleep, vitamins, and I'm considering the chicken pox vacine for The Girl because I REALLY don't want to experience her with Chicken Pox!

Tempted to medicate your intense child?

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 19:00:00 -0700

In the age of magic bullets and "take a pill" to fix things coupled with the stress of raising an intense child I can certainly understand the temptation to 'fix' difficult and challenging kids with a pill. It is understandably easy to go with the flow when you're at your wits end and everyone, the school, the doctor and your family are saying that some or another perscription will make everyone happy, and life will be 'good' with the help of medication.

Consider....

"In 1998 at the National Institutes of Health Consensus on ADHD, the following
statement was issued: "We do not have an independent, valid test for ADHD, and there
is no data to indicate that ADHD is due to a brain malfunction".

Labels like ADHD, ADD, ODD, LD etc are in no sense true diseases. There are no
reliable diagnostic methods. Psychiatrists cannot even agree among themselves about
how to diagnose ADD/ ADHD. In addition, your child needs to, be put on a medication
that is a close cousin to amphetamine because of the ADHD labeled."

This is an excerpt from an article called "Death By Ritalin-The Truth behind ADHD" that is a current Health Discussion topic at Medical Science Forum.

We all want to be the best parents we can be and we want to send our 'best child' out into the world - so when over and over again we are told that our child is not his best, caving to the pressure to medicate happens - it's almost like preying on the most vulnerable - the tired and weary parents of a spirited child are easy targets.

I'm not saying that medication is never needed. I am certain that there are genuine cases in which children need treatment to assist them in life but I'm just as certain that there are as many, if not more cases in which normal, spunky, energetic, creative, intense children are being treated for their brand of normal.

Take The Girl for example. It wouldn't take much some days to convince me that medication would be a good thing to calm her down if I thought that it would put an end to the screaming banshee stage. Luckily, even though my patience are at the near side of empty and my frustration level is soaring, I have Dervish.

I've been reminded twice this week by different people that my Dervish was exactly the same at her age.

My mother noted the many times I pulled the car over and took him outside for a calm down talk because he was screaming and unreasonable.

Perhaps if he hadn't 'mellowed' somewhat since then I'd be racing to the doctor for the magic bullet but fortunately he has mellowed. NOT that he is "mellow" he just doesn't scream like a banshee at every turn any more.

No, it didn't happen on it's own (I think it didn't happen on it's own anyway!) it took patience and guidance and dicipline (teaching) and a few grey hairs and a few tears to get through that stage but we did get through it and we will get through it with The Girl too.

Before you medicate - do your homework. Know what you're doing and why you're doing it. Get MORE than one opinion (I mean more than one doctor) Try working with diet and lifestyle changes, ask parents who have been there for suggestions and ideas.

The one big thing you have going for you is that ADD ADHD are not life threatening illnesses. It's not like denying a diabetic insulin - it CAN wait until you are sure.

ADD and ADHD information

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Wed, 14 Jun 2006 21:16:46 -0700

There is an abundance of information on the web about ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).

Since this was one of the things the Psycologist suggested my Dervish would develop I investigated.

In most cases the best place to look for information of this type is a reputable source that is not trying to sell you something. In this case I found all I needed at the Canadian Mental Health Association but since you're here, and I'm here, I am re-publishing what I found there for your information - the link is at the bottom.

Dervish has never fit the ADD/ADHD profile - he is extremely focused, and I could only hope that he would zone out sometimes as opposed to hanging on every word that anyone says... he gets good grades at school and his teacher, upon questioning, looked at me like I had 10 heads when I asked if she had any difficulty with him in class.

I'll cross these conditions on my "to come" list but the information is here if you're checking....

Reprinted with permission from the National Network for Child Care - NNCC. (http://www.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=3-99&lang=1)

Attention Deficit Disorder (also known as ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are terms used to describe patterns of behaviour that appear most often in school-aged children. Children with these disorders are inattentive, overly impulsive and, in the case of ADHD, hyperactive. They have difficulty sitting still, attending to one thing for a long period of time, and may seem overactive.

What are ADD and ADHD?

Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are disorders that interfere with the learning process because they reduce the child's ability to pay attention. It is important to understand that ADD and ADHD are not disabilities in the learning process, although they may be present in addition to a learning disability. A learning disability is a neurological condition that affects the child's ability to learn.

ADD and ADHD are difficult to diagnose because they affect all areas of a child's life: family, school, friendships, team sports and work.

This pamphlet is intended to provide only some basic information on the impact of ADD and ADHD on the child and the potential emotional, social and family problems that may result. If you need more detailed information, you should contact a community organization that is dedicated to children with attention deficit disorders.

What are the emotional effects of ADD and ADHD?

Your child can have a wide range of emotional responses to ADD and ADHD, which can be confusing to both him/ her and to you. He / she may have already experienced years of frustration and failure which can lead to emotional stresses and further problems.

Some of the emotional responses are:

*
aggressive or violent behaviour - Feelings of failure can result in aggressive or violent behaviour at home or outside it
*
withdrawal, anxiety and depression - Your child may turn inward and try to isolate him/herself from the rest of the work, or he/she may become anxious and depressed.
*
low self-esteem - If your child has been unable to have positive experiences because of ADD or ADHD, he/she will likely have trouble developing a healthy self-esteem.
*
physical symptoms - Possibly, your child will bury his/her feelings so deeply that they will come out in the form of headaches, stomach or back aches, or pains in the hands or legs.

What are the social effects?

Because ADD and ADHD are so hard to diagnose, you may be confused by your child's social behaviour. A teacher may not investigate difficult or disruptive behaviour because he / she cannot see the underlying attention problems. Two ways your child may try to mask his/her difficulty in the classroom or in a peer group are by:

*
becoming the "class clown" or the "class bully," or
*
avoiding or refusing to become involved in activities where he/she is unsure of success.

How do ADD and ADHD affect the family?

All members of your family will be affected by these disorders. As a parent, you may feel anger and guilt, and wonder if you could have prevented the problem or if you should have noticed it earlier. Your child's brothers and sisters may be confused about what exactly ADD and ADHD are. They may experience anger and anxiety about the situation because of their lack of understanding.

Overcoming the difficulties

If you think your child may have ADD or ADHD, your first goal should be to reduce the stress caused by the confusion and frustration your child is experiencing. It will be best if you work together with a team of professionals to find out what is wrong:

*
Your family doctor should examine your child for physical causes, including seeing, hearing or speech problems.
*
A psychiatrist should work with your child to see if there are any emotional or social problems in addition to or caused by ADD or ADHD.
*
A psychologist or sociologist should examine the family environment.
*
An education specialist should examine your child's academic abilities and test for any seeing, hearing or speech difficulties.

Once this professional team has evaluated your child completely and the problem is correctly diagnosed, the team can recommend the most appropriate treatment program for your child.

With the right kind of help, most children with ADD or ADHD overcome their disabilities, and their emotional problems usually disappear. They do better at school, improve their relationships with family and friends, and will be more likely to achieve their full potential. With help from family, school and other professional people, children with ADD or ADHD have more than a good chance to grow up to be healthy, happy and productive adults.

Getting further help

If emotional, family or social problems continue, your child may need the support of a mental health professional. Your family doctor can refer you to the most appropriate people. Counselling for your child and the rest of the family may be what is needed to ease the problems and to teach all family members how to support each other through the difficult times.

Do you need more information?

If you are concerned that your child may have ADD or ADHD, talk to your family doctor or your child's school; they can refer you to professionals who can assess your child's behaviour. If you need more information or family support, contact a community organization dedicated to children with attention deficit disorders or learning disabilities, which can help you find additional support.

Reproduced from http://www.cmha.ca/bins/content_page.asp?cid=3-99&lang=1

Additional information available at http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/noattent.htm

Stages of emotional development in children - and the intense child

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Fri, 03 Feb 2006 13:04:49 -0700

I wanted to take a look at any corrilation between intense children and emotional development. I found this article
at the National Network for Child Care. It discusses the emotional development of 6 to 8 year old
children.

It seems that my Dervish is pretty much on track for emotional development. There isn't anything that stands out to me that would make me think that his emotional development is anything but normal.

Interestingly enough, this is something I've always thought could be part of the issue, I felt that perhaps his intensity and strong emotional reposnses were based on a slow emotional development but from this article it seems I have been wrong. So he's just intense?

That seems like a contradiction

The question is, and always has been, is my Dervish a person who as an adult, people will say... "he's very intense" in that awe struk kind of way that comes out sounding respectful.... or is "intense" a symptom of something else that will leave people saying "he's a little odd" which has no hope of ever sounding respectful.

As a mother, I have no choice but to worry about this kind of thing, it's ingrained in my "mom gene" because of course, I want all of my children to be happy and successful and respected and respectful and anything that threatens to offroad that train puts me in a panic.

Here's the article..... (part of it, click the link above for the full article)

Six, seven, and eight-year-olds build on the important developments
of the first 6 years of life and seem to settle down to a steadier
pace of growing and learning. Young school-age children are interested
in real life tasks and activities, and pretend and fantasy lessen
considerably. School-agers want to make "real" jewelry,
take "real" photographs, and create "real"
collections.

School-age children have longer attention spans. They are more
likely to stick with things until the project is finished, the
problem solved, or the argument resolved. Doing things together
with friends, teamwork, and following rules become very important.
This age group is fascinated by rules and can develop games with
extensive rules and rituals.

SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

being with friends becomes increasingly important
interested in rules and rituals
girls want to play more with girls; boys with boys
may have a best friend and an enemy
strong desire to perform well, do things right
begins to see things from another child's point of view, but still very self-centered
finds criticism or failure difficult to handle
views things as black and white, right or wrong, wonderful or terrible, with very little middle ground
seeks a sense of security in groups, organized play, and clubs
generally enjoys caring for and playing with younger children
may become upset when behavior or school-work is ignored

IDEAS FOR CAREGIVERS
Provide opportunities for active play. Throwing at targets, running,jumping rope, tumbling, and aerobics may be of interest.
Provide opportunities to develop an understanding of rules by playing simple table games: cards, dominoes, tic-tac-toe, etc.
Provide opportunities for children to do non-competitive team activities such as working a jigsaw puzzle or planting a garden.
Encourage
children's sense of accomplishment by providing opportunities to build
models, cook, make crafts, practice music, or work with wood.
Encourage children's collections by allowing them to make special boxes or books in which to store their collections.
Encourage
reading and writing by allowing children to produce stories with
scripts, create music for plays and puppet shows, produce a newspaper,
record events, go on field trips, or conduct experiments.
Help
children explore their world by taking field trips to museums, work
places, and other neighborhoods. Invite community helpers to your home.

DOCUMENT USE/COPYRIGHT

National Network for Child Care - NNCC. Part of CYFERNET, the National
Extension Service Children Youth and Family Educational Research
Network. Permission is granted to reproduce these materials in whole or
in part for educational purposes only(not for profit beyond the cost of
reproduction) provided that the author and Network receive
acknowledgment and this notice is included: