Parenting An Intense Child - Parenting

ADHD - Concerta - Puberty - Mood Swings - OH MY

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 11:08:53 -0700

A couple of months ago I wrote about my oldest and the suspected ADHD that had gone unnoticed until now.

As it turns out, we got him into the specialist who subject him to several hours of testing. The person who performed the testing strongly indicated that the inital observations suggested ADHD.

My Pie had been prescribed a low dosage, 18mg per day, of Concerta so the specialist advised he continue taking it and he would re-assess at the follow up visit.

A few weeks later and the three of us, Pie, Me and The Dad, sat across from the ADHD specialist as he confirmed that our Pie was most definitely suffering from ADHD and prattled off the percentiles and showed us graphs and charts that illustrated the facts to us.

He sent us off with a book for the Pie to read and one for us that was full of charts and checklists that we and his teacher is to fill out to gauge his progress and symptoms.

The doctor also doubled the dose of Concerta but indicated that he probably would need several adjustments before we found the ideal dosage.

I'm sure that every parent struggles with medicating their children. Especially given the stigma of ADHD and the over diagnosis and status
of "condition du jour". Parents don't want their kids "drugged" and the
potential side effects make you think twice and three and even four
times about doing it.

The thing to remember is that ADHD IS a
real condition and it's effects cause real issues for the kids and
adults that are afflicted with it.

We've parented The Pie for
over 12 years without medication, without treatment and I feel awful.
How unfair of us to make him go through this without even noticing -
it's like 'not noticing' that a child is diabetic.

So, aside from parenting my intense high maintenance kids, I now have a
nearly 13 year old boy, a teenager, smack in the middle of puberty, a couple of
weeks before school starts at an all new school where he knows very few
people, newly diagnosed and still digesting that he has ADHD, on
medication for this ADHD. So I wasn't terribly bowled over to find that his moods were swinging like they were being controlled by monkeys swinging on vines but I sure wasn't happy and honestly, started to panic just a little.

I was afraid that the medication was making him worse or that he had been misdiagnosed.

The thing is he was downright awful for the last 4 or 5 days, just about as long as he's been on the increased dose of Concerta, also the same amount of time he's known absolutely that he has ADHD, also mere days before he starts back to school - his NEW school and also in the middle of puberty. It's overwhelming to me as the parent, I have to assume it's overwhelming to my near teenager.

I had to take a step backwards and pull The Dad back there with me.

We've decided that as is needed with much of parenting, a little detective work and a little wait and see.

Discipline is still the first action. When the pie is mean and rude and sarcastic and full of attitude - we still need to deal with it but we've decided we need to discipline the behavior and work on keeping it in check without declaring a national emergency - without panicking. We need to watch, we need to see how things go after the first few days and weeks of school as he adapts to the new schedule and surroundings. We need to keep an eye on the medication and gauge the moods, are they getting worse, better, more or less frequent or severe? We need to keep notes, and keep our eyes open to know what's REALLY going on.

We've decided to give it 2 weeks of observation as long as nothing gets worse.

We'll see what happens.

The Forgotten Child

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 07:50:21 -0700

I'm the first to admit that my two intense kids take the majority of my energy. The Dervish and The Girl are younger and well, they are "intense". Virtually every moment is a challenge.

However, I didn't think I was ignoring the Pie ... the oldest, mr. stability, mr. dependable, mr. 12 going on 25.

Unfortunately, that seems to be exactly what happened and I think I know why.

It all started a month or so ago when I was looking for a "chore chart" online (something we were trying that didn't work - again... but that's another post). In my search I found a site that had charts for every imaginable thing and one of them was an add/adhd checklist.

I don't know what prompted me to look at it, I had no conscious concerns for any of the kids at that particular time but I did look at it and was shocked when I realized that I was answering yes to virtually every question with regards to my oldest son! Don't people usually look at and find add/adhd much earlier than 12 years old?

So I talked to The Dad about it and we looked at the checklist together and sure enough, we both had to admit that as hard as it seemed to be to believe, it looked like our oldest, our "normal" child, had been wandering around with undiagnosed add or even adhd!

The Dad discussed it with our Doctor before we talked to The Pie about it and he said we'd have to have his teacher fill out the same checklist before they would make a diagnosis so I emailed the teacher, explained just what I said here and attached the checklist. A day later the list came back - validating my initial idea.

Now for the fun part! After getting the letter from the teacher and my own check list to the Doctor with The Pie in tow, the Dr. says he has to see a specialist! I didn't even know there were add/adhd "specialists" but apparently there are and The Pie has an appointment with one such guru in DECEMBER! In the mean time, do nothing.

This just doesn't seem acceptable to me. Originally I had thought that the timing of this sudden noticing of symptoms was great. It was nearing the end of the school year so it would give us the summer to deal with treatment options and hopefully, by the time school started in the fall, we'd be all set and The Pie might actually have a good school year! Now it looks like that's not going to happen.

So why did it take us until he was 12 years old to discover that he was demonstrating so many add/adhd symptoms?

Well, first of all, no one had ever suggested it was a concern. In the 8 years of formal education, not one teacher even hinted that there might be an issue. Of course, there were always 'issues'. He fidgets, doesn't stay on task, spends too much time talking with his friends, gets out of his seat too much etc., etc., etc. and ya, now it screams loud and clear but in the moment it was always accompanied by 'he's so popular', 'he's got so many friends', 'everyone always wants to chat with him', 'social butterfly'. So we saw these as discipline and self control issues related to his personality - the teachers liked him, his classmates liked him - disruptive? ya, a little, but in a class clown, charm your socks off kind of way.

Then there's the comparison factor. Standing beside emotionally intense Dervish and The Girl, The Pie looks for all intents and purposes, like the golden child. What's a 'fidget' beside a child having a major meltdown over being asked to put her socks in the laundry?

So as it turns out, the challenging kids not only vacuums the attention away from the 'normal' kids, they also change the perspective in which you look at your 'normal' kids.

sigh.

What's next? Well, I think I have to push the dr. towards considering some interim treatment and of course, I am looking at alternative treatments as well.

If you can see it - you can be it

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Tue, 20 Mar 2007 21:51:53 -0700

There's nothing that I know of that will get parenting back on track faster than to get into a good parenting book.

At least that's how I'm feeling right now. Obviously I need parenting help.

It seems like every time one of my kids enters a new phase of development, my parenting skills take a nose dive. Apparently, my adaptability to change is not all that it could be either!

Actually, I love change. I love to change my hair, re-arrange the furniture, try new things. I even change the design of my websites on a regular basis. However, when one of my intense kids hit's a developmental bump in the road it's not usually a easy transition. Maybe because they're not good at change so when a new neuron fires in one of their rapid fire brains and the world suddenly doesn't look the same as it did last week, it puts them into a tailspin and the ability to cope goes out the window... for all of us.

The girl, being 4, seems to hit those bumps at lightning speed and not always after overcoming the last leap.

She has stubborn down to a science and she's also determined to be shy. Hmmm... I don't really think one "decides" to be shy - I'm shy and I would love nothing more than to overcome that but I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that it's not going to happen... although I can fake it with enough prep time and self dialogue.- at 4, the girl is not there yet.

So, we have battles because, as a result of her shyness, she hates school. Almost daily she refuses to go and we have a talk about how much fun she's going to have and I remind her of the handful of friends she has and the teacher she likes and she goes. On good days. On bad days I'm exasperated with repeating this conversation for the 100th time and I wonder (to myself) why she can't be more like her brothers and I heave deep sighs and sometimes I even yell.

Needless to say, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that on my bad days, I'm not helping.

So I picked up a book. A parenting book. A POSITIVE parenting book and within moments of being in it, I started to "be it". If you can see it, you can be it.

If I can see myself being that calm and rational parent... that "ideal" parent, that perfect parent and suddenly I am better. I get injected with a potent dose of patience and compassion and I'm better.

The book I'm reading is "The Confident Child" by Terri Apter and I'm liking it. My kids are liking it too but they don't know it.

My next post I'm going to talk about what I'm learning from this book about the parental influence on self esteem and confidence. It's important

Sometimes I'm just tired

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Thu, 06 Jul 2006 22:50:44 -0700

Do you ever have one of those days that you'd like to have a pause button that would put the world on hold while so you can take a moment to breathe?

I've had a few of those days lately. It seems like the normal stresses of life, the bills, the home maintenance, the job, and all those other day to day things get to be a lot - and factor in the marriage, other relationships that can become 'high maintenance', responsibilities, and add a few kids and suddenly you feel overwhelmed and would just like to shut everything off and close your eyes and hear nothing.

How nice it would be to be able to sit down and read a book for as long as you felt like it without an interruption, or take a bath without having to pre-arrange the time (not that pre-arranging time actually works but it always seems like it's worth a shot), or have what you want for dinner, even if it's a bowl of cereal, without getting a complaint about it.

I suspect that every parent has at least a fleeting thought like this now and again, I also suspect that as happens to me, the guilt happens too!

I love my kids, and wouldn't trade them for the world but sometimes life just seems to be emotionally draining.

This week, The Dad and I actually got to go away for a night. This is the 3rd time since kids that we've done that (which also happens to be the third time in 3.5 years - maybe we're on a roll!) and it was really REALLY nice. We ate dinner at a restaurant that we knew we'd have to wait for the meal to be cooked and we didn't care, we didn't have to gauge the emotional thermometer of the kids before choosing what to do or consider how long we would be doing it (to establish if it was a good plan or not), we stayed up late and slept in, read the newspaper in bed while we drank coffee and we dressed up to go out. (among other things!)

It was nice.

Parents will always worry about their children. It's what parents do. Sometimes I wish that I didn't have to be so in tune with The Girl and The Dervish though. They are high maintenance kids. With them you can never just do something, everything has to be carefully considered, and, even when you think you have planned for every potential glitch - have 5 different kinds of snacks, 3 changes of clothing for each, blankets and pillows for the car, a variety of toys, bed early the night before, a good breakfast the day of.... something will invariably happen that you didn't or couldn't plan for.

The problem is, intense emotions are not only strong, they are long lasting. Intense kids don't just 'get over it' and move on, they cling to the feeling like it's life itself and will allow it to ruin an entire day. There are moments when I feel sorry for myself (I always feel sorry for them - they are the ones being bowled over by their own feelings).

But, then I make myself take a step back and remember that sometimes I forget the blessings, sometimes I forget that compared to others, my life might seem like a picnic.

Take LITTLE PRINCESS The Story of a Special-Need Child from a parenting experiences page. My heart broke for this family and this little girl with all that they've been through and all that they will go through. This makes my chores to prepare for an outing seem petty, and my complaining seem 'childish'. What have I really got to complain about after all?

So this my advice for today. When you are down and overwhelmed ...

1. Take a break. Everyone needs it now and again, people as individuals need a break, need a breather. It's good for the soul. Couples need time together, it's good for a relationship. When you take the time to nourish your soul, you come out of it calmer and happier and that makes you better. A better person, a better partner, a better parent.

2. Try to remember, that as bad as it feels sometimes, in most cases, there is someone, somewhere, dealing with something that is more than you can imagine handling - and that makes your problems seem a little less daunting.

Now what was it I was feeling tired about?

Learning to stop sucking the joy out of life

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 09:43:18 -0700

"Do you want instant peace and joy in your life today? Here is what you do: Watch a child play"

I love quotes, I love inspirational quotes and I stole this inspirational quote from this self help website (have to give credit where credit is due!)

Although the advice is inspirational and thought provoking - it's often harder to do something that sounds so simple. Life and day to day stresses tangle us up and we forget the basic premise of stopping to smell the roses. Even as I sit here, dilegently 'working' to provide information and content for my website, The Girl is playing quietly beside me. I know that I could stop and smell the roses now but my mind is telling me "right after I'm done this" but why not this after I'm done smelling the roses? How did my priorities become skewed?

Don't get me wrong, it's not all like that all the time - last night for instance I was thorougly enjoying watching the Dervish and The Girl play tag on the deck - there was a little shrieking and gentle screaming but for the most part they were having a wonderful time and it made me smile.

Partially it was just because it's such a rare opportunity to see these two intense children play together and have fun and not fight for such a good chunk of time but a lot of it was just the sheer pleasure of watching 2 little kids laughing and running and feeling joy. (I even forgot about their intensity for a while) It rubs off on you if you let it!

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, one of our goals for 'now' is to spend more time in "family time". This is all part of the smelling of the roses but isn't it a shame that we get to the point of having to plan it?

"Do you want instant
peace and joy in your life today?
Here is what you do:
Watch a child play"

I'm going to print this out about 20 times and put it on every wall!

One of the other goals we set was to re-establish a routine in an attempt to gain some control in our lives - less chaos = happier family. I found another tidbit of good information on the same self help site - it was an item about teaching your children to set goals.

Admittedly, I could stand to teach myself how to set goals and it looks like I'll be printing that one out too... we can all learn together - FAMILY TIME!

How not to be a positive parent

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 20:42:00 -0700

When the Pie was very close to two I fell into an online community of parents who called themselves "Positive Parents".

This was a pretty new concept to me being that I was raised in an authoritarian home - in other words, do as I say, do it now, don't ask questions and if you really mess up - you're going to get it! (by it I mean the dreaded "S" word - hit, swatted, s p a n k e d)

Now I was sure I wasn't going to be that parent, not the parents mine were and I thought that was being positive but little did I know that in this particular community, I wasn't even close. But I learned how to use discipline instead of punishment, consequences that are related, respectful and relevant, how to look for the "why" behind the action, how to redirect inappropriate behavior. And I was good at it. S P A N K became the new 4 letter word (ok, I know it's 5 letters but you catch the meaning)

Then along came Dervish, and then the girl and suddenly I find myself in not such a positive place.

It's kind of like that game Sudoku that's popping up all over the place. They call it a game of logic - and I call it a very close imitation of parenting. You start off thinking "hey, this isn't so bad, what's so hard about putting some numbers in boxes?" and you're zipping along feeling like a genius and then ZAP! you're in a corner and you can't find your way out - you look back to see where you went wrong and a sea of numbers float at you and your eyes blur. At least mine did when I played the cool sudoku game.

That's what happened to me the other day when my Pie came and told me that I was always grouchy and yelling and it was freaking him out. ZAP!

I know I've totally lost control - I feel like my mom-ness is slipping down the tubes and I'm becoming even worse than my parents were. The Pie was right! I am grouchy all the time and I am yelling and my positive parenting has gone down the tubes. Time to start the game over.

I know it's NOT a game like sudoku... there is no "hint" button or "start over" or "reveal a mistake" (HA! if only there was!!)

This is real life and in real life I sit down with The Dad and we re-assess and try to fix our mistakes.

What did we decide? We decided that we messed up - that we let the tide of life and stress carry us too far from our goals, our plans, our parenting and it was time to step back and aim at repairing the damage.

So, restructure the routine - the daily routine has gone for a dive and it's time to salvage it and put it back in place. When there is no routine (I don't mean boot camp, just a simple routine of household operations) things get crazy, no one knows what to expect and everyone is expecting different things and not getting them - it's crazy making!

Plan time for each of the kids on a regular basis. One on one time with each parent individually and FAMILY TIME. Too little of that has been happening too.

Quit expecting 3 year olds to be 6 year olds and 7 year olds to be 10 year olds and 11 year olds to be 20 year olds! Bottom line, kids make mistakes - they are kids! that's what they're supposed to be doing and tossing a ton of bricks on them every time they make one.

Have some fun! We're missing the whole fun thing of parenting and what's the point if that's not happening.

There was more but that's the gist of it. Parenting is like a game but it's a serious game - you can find yourself in a corner but unlike suduko, there is no "play another game" button, you have to face that sea of numbers and fix them when you mess up.

Screaming Banshee - Why do intense kids scream?

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 15:33:45 -0700

Yesterday The Girl and I had a deal - we were going to work on screaming. Me not doing it - her not doing it - but mostly her.

It's gotten to the point that my neck muscles get tense the moment she gets up in the morning. Ok, well not usually the moment but very close.

The Girl is a screamer. She screams when she's frustrated, she screams when she's angry. And it doesn't take much to get either of those going in her.

After our weekend camping (another story for another blog) I was ready to throw in the towel. It's one thing to have a screamer. It's another thing for the whole world to see it and for that same world to be watching you try to deal with it.

So yesterday morning I said to The Girl... today we're going to work on not screaming. She agreed! lol

So throughout the day whenever she screamed I'd pull her aside and talk to her about calming down and how people don't hear you when you scream - they only hear the scream and that if you can stay calm and ask for help nicely, people are more likely to want to help you. sigh.

I must admit that the day's goal was semi successful. She stopped screaming sooner and I didn't do as much of it either.

I never thought I'd say that. I never thought I'd be a screamer and I find the whole situation to be very frustrating. This isn't the way I planned it at all!

Fortunately I know that I'm not alone in this feeling of semi failure.

I was off searching the web for information, insight and material for this site and I happened across Janene Mascarella's article page.

In amongst a variety of information about Long Island Activities, Teen Diet issues, Keeping your family safe and other fountains of information, there are Janene's parenting and family insights. Today, they were just what the doctor ordered.

I read her piece on perfect parenting and nodded and smirked the whole way through.

This morning, The Girl had hot dogs for breakfast. Hey... they were all beef ya know?

I'm sure that anyone who is a parent, especially the parent of a spirited child, or intense child will agree that there is no such thing as a perfect parent but Janene Mascarella says it with such "flair"!

Her other articles are good too and I'd recommend taking a look.

Check out Janene's Parenting Column

Parenting books - revisited

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Sun, 18 Jun 2006 23:10:11 -0700

I tried this in an earlier entry - the book list - but it looked really messed up so here it is again with links to Amazon where you can read the descriptions of the books and decide for yourself. I've read a few of these, had a few recommended to me and found the others looking for new ones to read. Hope you find it useful.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Liberated Parents, Liberated Children : Your Guide to a Happier Family

Different Children, Different Needs

Anger Management Workbook for Kids and Teens

Parenting the Strong-Willed Child, Revised and Updated Edition: The Clinically Proven Five-Week Program for Parents of Two- to Six-Year-Olds

Siblings Without Rivalry

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic

The Birth Order Book: Why You Are The Way You Are

The Explosive Child : A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children

I carry the black and white paint

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Fri, 14 Apr 2006 16:46:02 -0700

Seeing shades of grey is a little difficult for my intense child. Dervish seems to be mono chromatically challenged that way.

Life for him seems to be made up of all black or all white and convincing him of grey areas is a challenge so I carry around two can's of paint - one black, one white and a paint brush to dip into what ever colour I need to even out the dervish perspective.

Admittedly, I don't often need the black paint... ok well, thinking about it, yes I do... I need the black paint when he's convinced a good thing is going to happen and maybe it wont, or it wont meet his expectations.

Dab a little black paint on the easter bunny because the easter bunny is going to bring so much chocolate that he'll have enough to last a year.... not quite... dab dab dab

Dab a little black paint on the rep soccer try outs because he will definately make the team even though every other kid trying out is a year older... dab dab dab

Get the brush out to add a little white paint to that dark area that tells him he'll never learn to read... dab dab dab

Nobody likes me .....dab dab dab.

You get the picture.... all kids have their moments but in the dervish life, they are more frequent, more dramatic and, when he's painted something white and it doesn't work out, more devistating. With my little artist brush I can help lessen the devistation and if it does happen to work out to his expectations... well, then life is just that much sweeter!

I don't think I'll be doing this forever, hopefully soon he will start to carry his own paint set with him and learn to add a little black or white to his colour scheme on his own.

http://www.myrollercoasterkid.com

Intense emotions

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 17:56:38 -0700

Emotions are messy little things, in an intense child, they are messy BIG things.

People don't generally know what to do with them. Sure, be happy, show happy, act happy - everyone loves happy but start getting into sad, angry, frustrated feelings and no one is really comfortable with the display of those emotions.

I was raised to show nothing and in fact, any display of any emotion in my childhood home was a rare event. I've seen my mother cry once. An angry outburst? perhaps once or twice as a teenager but other than that, the woman is a rock.

As a new parent I wanted a touchy feely family, lots of hugs and kisses, lots of physical contact, expressions of love and affection all around. That was a pretty easy goal to achieve and I'm happy to report that all of my children are comfortable with public displays of affection, yes, even the tough, cool, 11 year old Pie tells me he loves me in front of his friends and doesn't hesitate to give me a kiss goodbye on his way out the door with his "peeps".

I'm a proud momma for sure! But somewhere along the line I had to decide what to do with those more messy emotions.

No parent likes to hear their child cry and it seems to be programmed in to make the crying stop. To sooth and comfort, part of the mom job description isn't it? But what if by shhhhhing and rocking we are unconsciously teaching our children that the emotion behind the tears is unacceptable? That we don't want to see them showing "sad".

A temper tantrum, an emotional meltdown, circuit overload - that's a bad thing? Many parents would like to punish a tantruming child - surely throwing yourself around on the floor and screaming at the top of your lungs is NOT acceptable. But hey, aren't there times when you wish you were 2 so you could do it and get away with it?? Even my doctor suggested I send my tantruming Dervish to his room to cool off for an hour to "cure" his tantrums - Discipline he called it.

Well, Discipline is teaching and by punishing a display of emotion what are we teaching? We're teaching that there is something wrong with feeling angry or frustrated or sad. We're teaching that we don't accept our children when they are feeling those strong emotions, we're teaching that those feelings are wrong.

What we should be doing is helping our children find acceptable ways to express their emotions in ways that meet their needs as well as respecting others.

Something that has worked for me, especially before words were available was to teach them the emotions using my own facial expressions and posture then ask them to show me - it's a fun game and a good way to help them learn feelings and emotions. Taking it one step further you can add a powerful action or sound to go with the powerful feeling. For instance, The Girl likes to hiss at me when she's angry - it's hard not to laugh but I try but it's equally important to acknowledge how they are feeling showing that you accept their feelings and emotions - It all comes in the same package.

A helpful resource is the Aware Parenting Institute. I can't say that I subscribe to everything there, but it can certainly jump start a person thinking about how they personally feel about emotions and feelings.

Over reacting... or just "reacting"

nospam@example.com (L.C.) — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 18:52:07 -0700

What I think is a small disappointment my Dervish will react as if
the end of the world has happened. My first response is that he's over
reacting but the truth is that he is just reacting.

It is not my place to tell anyone what's important to someone and how important it
is and I suppose that's the biggest challenge.

An intense child seems to feel things more deeply, take disappointments and frustrations
harder, to the extent that people generally view their reactions as
bizzare.... unexplainable. You find yourself embarrassed in public but
outbursts that no one seems to understand.

I sometimes totally forget that people,(that would include my children) need to be accepted "as is". It's a hard skill to master and I have
trouble with it in adult relationships too. I see something that
doesn't suit the way I think it should be and it's a real struggle to
get over it, look past it, accept the person as the person they are...
it's even harder when it's your child.

These are suggestions I found on the web and they make a lot of sense - both for
the parents of intense children and for the children themselves.

I think that on some level at least, my intense child knows that he's a
little different and I'm sure it's unsettling at times. I'm going to put these suggestions to use and see how it goes.

Jointly discuss the positive outcomes of being emotionally
intense--i.e. sensitive to others, caring, loyal, have strong feelings

Cherish and celebrate diversity and individual differences

Think about how these traits effect a person's perception of the world--through a different, perhaps kaleidoscopic, lens

Accept the individual as is--including "bizarre" descriptions
and expressions of feelings and alternative ways of viewing and doing
things

Learn listening and responding skills to help the intense people deal with and respond to their feelings

Develop a feeling vocabulary--including a continuum of feeling words

Teach emotionally intense people to share their feelings with
others when they are ready--verbally, through movement, art,
journaling, music, whatever

Teach emotionally intense people to be respectful of others' feelings or seeming lack thereof

Teach individuals to find ways to change their behaviors and responses, rather than just dwell on personal failures

Share that intense feelings, depression, are OK

Teach individuals to anticipate physical and emotional responses and prepare for them

Consider attachments to people, places, things, when a change is about to occur

Help individuals to understand how their intense emotions may adversely affect others.

Encouraging journaling to express intense feelings

Find physical outlets for emotional energy