Parenting An Intense Child
Life with my rollercoaster kids
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Excerpted from B-di - Understanding Behavioral Individuality
Full Article at - http://www.temperament.com/parenting.html
* Do not punish the child for temperamental style. If a child is shy, she should not be reprimanded for being hesitant toward a stanger. If the child adapts gradually, she shouldn't be punished for not obeying completely if her response is better than last time (moving in the right direction). If the child is intense she shouldn't be criticized for being loud when she feels upset, just as she isn't punished for being loud when she is happy. If a child is irregular, she shouldn't be punished for not being hungry at every meal or not ready to sleep at every bed time
* Notice the times when things are going well. How are you reacting at the times when you and she are feeling good about each other? There are clues there about what the infant or child needs.
* Recognize and accept the way the infant really is. If parenting is stressful and your infant doesn't act like the one next door, she may be 'spirited' and need specialized parenting techniques. You may need to learn more about how to parent a spirited child than the parent next door.
* Recognize your feelings toward the child. It can be isolating to feel
that you are frustrated rather than fulfilled as a parent, that you are
stressed by parenting rather than energized by it and that you sometimes
wish that your child were different. Lots of other parents have these feelings.
Find a way to discuss these feelings honestly. It will probably benefit
your child also, if you do.
The Site for parents of intense, emotional, spirited, challenging children.
